19 Oct 2016

It's Perfectly Fine To Settle Down And Conform

I could be exaggerating, (my brain likes to do that) but recently I recall reading a lot of blogs/articles where the writer talks about the pressure they feel society puts on us 20-somethings to settle down; to launch a career, find a life-long partner, purchase a house, have babies and yeah - you know the rest.

They explain how this isn't for everyone, that this cookie-cutter 'ideal' lifestyle shouldn't be thrust upon the younger generation. They complain how relatives keep prodding them, asking when they're going to grow the eff up, find a real job and get married. Some even go on to say that settling down so young is old-fashioned and dull. How there's so much more to life than conforming to society.

These are all fair, valid points. No one has any right to dictate how you live your life. I hate how overused YOLO has become but you can't argue with it, 'you do only live once'. You should carve your own path in life and do what you want to do, especially whilst you're young and have no real responsibilities.

Be selfish whilst you can, sod what anyone else thinks.

However, what I don't appreciate is itchy-footed people slamming those that choose to stay put and build their foundations: claiming that they couldn't possibly think of anything more dire than working a 9-5 job, 5 days a week. Opinions are fine, but expressing those whilst simultaneously belittling the choices of others? Not cool.

I'm 25 years old (a very fresh faced 25 I must say) and I have a steady job, a mortgage and a husband that I love dearly. I bloody went and conformed didn't I.

All that's missing is the screaming baby and I'd have the full house, quite literally.

I 100% chose my lifestyle and responsibilites. My folks are pretty laid back so there was zero pressure for me to do any of the above. I would have been supported in whatever I chose to do except, y'know, sit on my arse and sponge off the government, but that goes without saying.

I wanted to settle down. Not because it's what I'd longed for ever since I was a little girl, not because of the pressure society puts on us youngsters. No, none of that crap. My lifestyle decision all boiled down to circumstance, as I think it does with most of us.

Girl met boy, girl fell in love with boy and wanted to spend life with him. Boy felt the same way and neither of them would allow anything to get in the way of that. They wanted to make a go of it.

You've all heard the phrase "the one that got away", yeah? Well there was no way on this earth that I was letting my 'one' wangle through the net. Especially not because of my age, lack of playing the field or travelling the world.

I won't even bother to explain why I think people that encourage others to leap into bed with any Tom Dick or Harry just because they're young, even when in a perfectly happy, stable relationship should get in the sea.

Sure, I would love to travel the globe, to immerse myself in different cultures and environments. I truly believe that it is as eye-opening, life-changing and incredible as everyone says BUT there's nothing stopping me doing so one day, with Ed by my side.

I just can't flounce off whenever I please because of my situation and that's fine, I wanted this lifestyle and I wouldn't change it for the world. Okay, bits of it need tweaking but all in all, I'm happy and extremely proud of what I have. Yes it can be stressful, mundane and even restricting at times but boring, nah it's far from it.

Basically, I've just typed a hell of a lot of waffle to say each to their own. But I felt that I needed to get the viewpoint of someone from my side of the fence out there in the open. We need to learn to respect, rather than question each others lifestyle choices. There is no right or wrong way to live your life.

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  1. I agree that everyone should make the decision that's right for them - whether that's settling down or otherwise :) I personally haven't got round to that yet but I would never tell anyone else to follow my footsteps. If I was like you and had found the one, I might be in your position! Basically everyone can do what they like :) x


  2. That's just it, do what you know is best for you but don't assume that it would be best for anyone else. :) x

  3. Here, here!!

    I'm like you - 25, Monday to Friday office job, husband, home (rented but still got dem billz god dammit!). When some of my colleagues heard that I was getting married at 25 they commented that it was quite young... Maybe compared to some these days it is, but I'm happy with my partner so why the heck not?

    Each to their own is what I think too.

    Melissa x



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