24 Dec 2016

10 Things That Are Only Socially Acceptable at Christmas Time


"More cream on your mince pie?"

"Ohhh, go on then, it's Christmas." *watches as mince pie slowly drowns and is no longer visible*

Sound familiar?

Why is the fact that it's 'Christmas time' a widely accepted excuse to be a pig, when for the other 11 months of the year eating your weight in sat fats frowned upon?

I ain't complaining though: I very much enjoy it.

Come to think of it, there's a whole host of things that are accepted during the festive period that would raise eyebrows at any other time of the year, such as:

1. Drinking before 10am - You wouldn't dream of washing down your avocado on toast (read: Nutella on toast) with booze any other time of year because RAGING ALCOHOLIC ALERT, but for some reason, raising a glass of Bucks Fizz with your breakfast on Christmas Day is very acceptable. Start as you mean to go on, eh?

2. Eating large amounts of alcohol - Not only is drinking a vast quantity of alcohol something many of us associate with Christmas, but eating a lot of it seems to be commonplace too. EVERYTHING is laced with the stuff; Bailey's chocolates, alcohol infused mince pies, brandy cream - even the Xmas pud contains enough booze to floor your Nan.

3. Talking to every stranger you walk past - Interacting with strangers as you walk past them (unless you're apologising for the 64th time for wanting to squeeze past) is sadly against British etiquette.

However, on Crimbo, this all goes out the window. Anyone you bump into will greet you with a huge smile and a 'Happy Christmas'. And it's almost a natural reflex to respond in the same way.

SEE, we are capable of  ditching the grumpy demeanor, even if it is only for one day a year.

4. Setting your pudding alight - You wouldn't douse your apple pie with alcohol and set it on fire would you?

5. Wearing ridiculous knitwear - We all love a gaudy, tasteless jumper at Christmastime. Erm, it's not tacky - it's called getting into the festive spirit. Who cares if you look a tit?

6. Dressing up pets - Because pets need to look as ridiculous as their owners, obviously. 

7. Eating a sugar laden breakfast that even Buddy the elf would be proud of - That's if you can call half a Cadbury's selection box breakfast?

8. Wearing ALL the sparkly and metallic clothing you own - usually all at once. Dressing like a personification of Aladdin's cave is what it's all about in December. Not forgetting the glittery talons and sparkly eyelids of course. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH SPARKLE.

9. Naps - Having a nap, or 3, on Christmas day is a rite of passage. How else are you supposed to recover from the post-turkey, pigs-in-blankets fatigue.

10. Counting down 25 days for what is essentially a birthday - If only everyone was this hyped up about my birthday eh?

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! May your day be full of belly laughs, naps and guilt-free indulgence.

See you on the flip side.
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