26 Feb 2017

A Thank You Letter To My Body

To say I'm unkind to my body is a whopping great understatement. Especially as I've spent the last few years of my life hating it, comparing it, screwing my face up at it in the mirror and wishing it looked different.

My mind will rarely let me see my body in a positive light, and if it does, it's only for a glimpse before it's back flooded with self-doubt and insecurities. I'm actually surprised that I felt bloody fabulous throughout my entire wedding day, although I guess I can largely thank the Prosecco for that.

Low body confidence is an issue that I've battling with for a long time - hey look, I wrote a whole post about it here - and is something that I've come to realise won't just disappear. It's sadly become part of who I am.

However, I've realised that it's time I stopped viewing my body in a solely superficial way and opened my eyes to see it for what it truly is: a healthy, able body. The very thing that allows me to be, to live. To go about my day without a second thought, without pain and without discomfort.

Because it is only when I'm sat down and I read about or watch the story of someone with a disability, disfigurement or chronic illness that I think 'huh, I really am lucky'.

And I am fucking lucky. Because disabilities can and do affect ANYONE. They don't discriminate but yet they don't act fairly either. Nobody deserves a life-affecting illness or condition. Just like I don't deserve, I'm not entitled to my fully-functioning, 'normal', healthy body. Yet here I am, taking it for granted every single day, choosing to focus on how it looks stuffed in a dress and not what it's actually for. It's shameful really.

So I'm taking the opportunity today to say a huge great thank you to my body.

Thank you for all the things you do to keep me alive without me even having to think about it; breathing, blinking and pumping blood around my body, just to name a few.

Thank you for carrying me for 25 years without major pain or trauma. Thank you for allowing me to wander the earth, to explore, experience and see what the world has to offer. Thank you for letting me feel things, emotionally and physically, yes even the painful things. Thank you for making me feel alive.

Thank you for putting up with years of abuse; the never ending piles of junk food and many a binge-drinking session I inflicted on you. I apologise for treating you as if you were invincible but I know better now. Thanks to you I learned that a healthy body does help to equal a healthy mind.

Lastly is the thing I can't begin to thank you enough for...

Thank you for creating a teeny tiny human life inside me. Okay it's a little earlier then I had planned (A WHOLE YEAR) but after recovering from the initial shock and thinking SOD IT, YOU'RE NEVER TRULY READY, I couldn't be more in awe of you and what you made from scratch without me knowing, you sly old thing.

From the moment I saw our baby's little heart beating so furiously on that ultrasound screen I felt so overwhelmed with a feeling of pride. YOU did this. You surprised me with the greatest gift ever and Ed and I will forever be grateful for that. Even during the first few months of inevitable sleepless nights when we're knee-deep in soiled nappies and baby vomit.


That's right, this post also doubles up as a whopping great announcement. I AM WITH BABY (I hate the word pregnant, idk it just sounds icky??)

14 weeks down, 26 to go. Baby Burrage is cooking away nicely and we couldn't be more excited.

So yes, my body may not look like Margot Robbie's but fuck it, it is awesome.

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1 comment :

  1. Absolutely loved this! You're so right. We always take our body for granted and are so quick to curse it for what it's not. But it's wonderful to hear that your baby is doing so nicely. (You look fab btw)

    Love, kerstin


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